Moron of the Week #6
We humans often encounter situations which stimulate instinctive behavior. Usually, such behavior is signaled by the release of hormones by the endocrine system. While this internal biological process is beyond our control, we often do have the capacity to control our reaction externally. Perhaps the most common stimuli that we encounter in our daily lives are sexual.
Were we wild animals, every heterosexual male might very well find himself grabbing the nearest female and humping away with abandon every time he got an erection, or every heterosexual female might find herself mounting the nearest male when aroused. The basis for such behavior is generally accepted as deriving from the need to procreate. We humans, however, at some point branded such behavior amongst ourselves as socially unacceptable. Now, we are expected to do all of our procreating in private and it is legally required that both (or all, as the case may be) involved parties be legal adults who have granted consent. We have taken a basic biological process and placed restraints upon how we may react to it. Had we not developed the capability to consciously act contrarily to how our hormones dictate, we never would have been able to have such restraints (and, much like my three dogs, wouldn't know the difference).
But just because humans have the capability to ignore their hormones when society says they ought to, doesn't mean that everyone actually does ignore them. In fact, because so many people fail to do so we have come to label stimuli that lead to pleasurable acts as "temptations" and have several related words and phrases. Christianity, and other religions, devote a lot of time to labeling those who act on such hormonal triggers as "sinners". How many relationships have crumbled because of the "other man" or "other woman"? How many times have people made sexual advances at the wrong time, or to the wrong person, and found themselves in some sort of hot water for doing so? Some might say that they are weak. Some might say that they have no will power. Some might say that they are going to Hell. But most will accept that such people are human. At some point, we forgive them and move on. Of course, we don't accept such behavior when it is destructive or harmful to others.
No, this post is not intended as a lesson on morality or fidelity (or lack thereof). I have a higher purpose today: I have found a fantastic candidate for the sixth Moron of the Week award. All of the hormonal stuff above ties into it. At least, I think it does. You see, this gentleman seems to have a hard time in managing how he responds to his endocrine system. Either that, or he's getting different hormonal stimuli than the rest of us. I have no knowledge of his background. I mean, I don't know if he's got a partner to get it on with, if he has difficulty finding one, if he can't afford a prostitute, if he has some moral objection to his hands, or if he is really turned on by what he does. All I know is that he has a really, for lack of a better word, disgusting way of getting off:
The 20-year-old Wisconsin man last year charged with having sex with a dead deer has been sentenced to probation and evaluation as a sex offender, Yahoo! reports. Bryan James Hathaway was cuffed on a "a misdemeanour charge of sexual gratification with an animal". The court case raised some interesting legal issues, since according to the defence, the relevant "crimes against sexual morality" statute prohibits sex with animals, but fails to mention carcasses.If someone's going to knock boots with dead animals, you'd think he'd try to do it somewhere he wouldn't get caught. But not our Bryan! This guy didn't just get caught once:
Hathaway had previously been convicted of a related offence in April 2005, when he pleaded "no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal".So, let's all raise our glasses in cheer to Bryan James Hathaway and his necrophiliac bestiality. It is debatable if he is a product of random mutation or if he just has no self-control, but either way he still more than qualifies to be the sixth Moron of the Week. As a bonus, by using the same logic as the supporters of Intelligent Design, he is living proof that ID can't be true -- anything that designed this guy has to be dumber than mud.