The One With Aldacron

It’s not unusual in SF books, movies and games to see scientists experimenting with devices that open up doors to things mankind had never imagined. Before the Code, Dan Brown wrote Angels & Demons. The plot in that book involved a far out experiement by a scientist at the real-life CERN labs, the product of which fell into the wrong hands. The first game in the popular Half-Life video game franchise put the player in the role of Gordon Freeman, a researcher who, on his first day at the fictional Black Mesa Research Facility, finds himself confronting aliens from another dimension thanks to an experiment gone awry. Combine certain elements from those two scenarios and what have you got? Real life. Well, minus the aliens perhaps.

Next year, scientists at CERN will crank up a gigantic particle accelerator, dubbed the Large Hadron Collider, in a long term experiment to create miniature Big Bangs and see where it takes them. It’s not much different from the experiment that caused Gordon Freeman’s first day at Black Mesa to go south. In fact, there is some expectation that it could result in something straight out of the game: the discovery of new dimensions.

If the theories are correct, the machine will create tiny black holes that evaporate and possibly even find particles that offer evidence that the three dimensions known to mankind are just a fraction of those that exist.

 

“That would be an even bigger headline than the black holes. It could be that there is a whole new universe a millimetre away from our heads but at right-angles to the three dimensions that are here,” Dr Cox said.

 

“That would be a real paradigm shift - our relegation to a little sheet in a multi-dimensional universe.”

Whether or not a dimensional rift will open up, allowing swarms of aliens to pour into our universe, remains to be seen. It would certainly make that whole terrorist thing yesterday’s news. Osama who?

The potential is great for tremendous scientific advances to come from this experiment. As for chances of the thing destroying the world, “The probability is at the level of 10 to the minus 40.” I couldn’t find a quote on the odds of an interdimensional alien invasion, but if one does come about, here are some tips for the hapless CERN employees to stay alive:

• Avoid any government troops you see. They aren’t really there to help you. Really, they’re not.
• The security guards are your friends. Especially Barney. Ask them help you kill aliens, avoid government troops, and get your hands on guns and ammo.
• Don’t rely on your fellow researchers to pack heat. They’re all cowards and can’t help you much beyond using their security cards for you. Except for Vittoria Vetra. She’s a tough one.
• If you see any crabs in the hallways, run away!
• Make sure you have a pair of Air Jordans handy. If you happen to make it to the alien homeworld, they like their jump puzzles.

The rest of us must resort to putting our faith in the scientists at CERN. They know what they are doing and aren’t putting the world at risk. Interdimensional alien invasions are just the stuff of science fiction and we really don’t have to worry. Right?

It sounds like a seriously cool project, though. Much like Darren’s Problogger Group Writing Project.

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